Never Thought She Is Like That

by | Jul 1, 2021 | Open Diary | 0 comments

I already know her for several years.

The first time I saw her was quite a fond memory, full of laughter and happy times.

I always believe that she is not a bad girl. No, maybe it’s me who was being blinded by my love for her that I unconsciously choose to ignore all the red flags.

But, were there any red flags, to begin with?

No. There’s none.

In fact, I thought that was a very sincere love and a strong feeling that I got from her.

When we hug each other, when we kiss each other, I can feel the loving embrace between the two of us.

Well, I guess I’m a fool here. She was so good at that.

Being false and deceptive, that is.

I was so unconditionally love her so much. I plan to marry her and take care of her, as well as her family. At least I don’t mind. That’s what I think that time.

But now, she destroyed all the trust I have in her, and also all the trust I put in her family and all the people that I know around her or close to her.

I think they are all demons in human skins.

I was also thinking to migrate to Jakarta, just for her. To ease her life. Make her happy and proud.

Now when I think it back. I realise and I accept that I was so in love with this deceptive woman.

Well, I’ve come to my sense now.

I feel that I became a little racist towards her ethnicity and there is also hate and vengeance that I have felt in my heart. I feel so betrayed, and what makes it worst is that she calls upon the name of the God that I prayed and worship to, while deceiving me.

I lost faith, in both humans and also the so-called God for letting it happens in their name.

Is that my faith is so invaluable that the deceptive woman can freely use God’s name, hurt me, and get away with it?

If that’s the kind of God that I’ve been worshipping for the whole of my 30 years, living on Earth, then I think it’s time to put an end to this idiocy.

I curse you, woman.

You will have the taste of your own medicine soon.

You will feel the hurts and heartbrokenness ten times than what I feel.

I ask the universe for I have been wronged and hurts by this deceptive and heartless woman.

I curse you, woman.

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