Please play the video below while reading this post. 🙂

I’m awake somewhere around 2:30 a.m. and I feel so discontent and empty.

Perhaps because my mind are still full of her. 🙁

I’m Cosplaying!

Also…

Previously, I was chatting with my fellow Vocaloid producers on which Vocaloid character should I cosplay as during Comic Fiesta 2015.

The thing is, I actually never do something so non-conventional as cosplay.

Ironically I like to see people cosplay and have a lot of fun hours spent with these beautiful ladies, fellow Mirian Cosplayer.

The above photo was taken and edited by me. 🙂

What do you think about the photo?

They are all beautiful people aren’t they?

And get back to the topic why I want to cosplay is because it’s Comic Fiesta! Cosplaying is the norm when you join this kind of event.

I’m not even a famous Vocaloid producer yet. No one know who is Wiguan. Even though I have almost a thousand hits on Spotify, maybe that’s just from the random play and not from intentional search.

But it’s okay. 🙂

At least I got heard.

So non-famous Vocaloid producer like me should do what the non-famous Vocaloid producer do.

Attract people’s attention as much as I can.

Cosplaying as a Vocaloid character is one of the method that I can think of. I don’t know if it will be a success. Maybe not. But hey, I’m doing something to achieve my dream rather than someone who just sit there all days waiting for miracle to happen. 😉

After some thought, I decide to cosplay as Yohioloid.

I still need to think for one more character but then, let’s save that for another day.

Choosing Yohioloid then lead me to the next topic I have in my mind.

Living in Japan Dream

I was young back then.

Japan seems to be a dreamland for me because of the technology level, the train, the girls, the pop culture and the opportunity that exists there.

I get to know with this one girl through a friend. We used to be a good friend that really like this Japan Pop Culture things.

That girl share a very strong desire to visit Japan. To live there.

Different from me who like Japan Pop Culture from the anime, moe and kawaii side, this girl are full of passion about Jrock, Visual metal bands that known as “visual kei” genre.

So much as a rockers I am, visual kei definitely not the rockers type I am. No. Actually they are not “rock” at all. They are “metal”, the whole different genre in my opinion.

That girl proceed to become my very loved and precious girlfriend. At least that time. :/

Trying to get close to my girlfriend (now ex!) I’m giving it a fair chance to listen to her favorite bands such as The Gazette, Girugamesh and somewhere like that.

Unfortunately, I’m not a metal soul at all! I can’t connect to her favorite songs at all which talk about murders, lust, killing intention and stuff like that. Because all my life, I like beautiful, moe and cute things like her (ironically).

The metal songs in my opinion that time are full of hate, grudge and anger. While I’m full of love. That time.

But after breaking up with her in the very ultimate unpleasant and total heart breaking, I fall into the world of pure darkness. Total breakdown. My, you don’t want to know me during that day.

I went out every night, only to come back in the morning. I fight with my dad. I make my mom cry. I hate everyone that have connection with her or someone I think who was on her side.

I don’t know why myself like that. Maybe because I’m so deeply in love with her but suddenly she betrayed that feeling. :/

But I will always remember these friend that still look and try to find out about my being even during the time I hit the rock bottom.

Alfred, I renamed him Alex and I myself as Ed. That’s because we want to keep our real name secret. He’s the friend that are there for me every time I need a company.

Ironically, he’s not the most smart or good person on earth. Normal people will label him as bad guy, gangster, and stuff like that. Someone you can’t trust at all.

But he’s married now and guess what? I named his boy as well. And he took the Alex name as his boy first name. Lol 😀

Gerald, this guy were trying to help me with giving me job and stuff like that, as well as advices, sharing his own dark past and motivational words on not giving up life. My, I never even met him in real life yet. I guess I really should find him when I’m in KL. Maybe I’m not good at words but I definitely remember the gesture well enough.

Sam, save the best person for the last. If not Sam who featured me to his connection, I will be still trying to finish my game on zero budget and no way that I’m now closer to achieve my dreams as today.

All these awesome people, and the newly acquired passion, game development have healed me from all the darkness and bitter life.

Awake from the darkness and into the new bright future, I somehow tasted the world of “metal soul” where anger, hatred and grudge are what in my mind all the time.

And then I remember back all these visual metal band that was introduced by the girl I used to love so much before.

But somehow the band that have strong presence in my memory is Seremedy.

Seremedy is the first metal band that I know penetrate Japan successfully with their visual kei appearance.

When I was still in relationship with the girl I was once loved so much, I deducted that Seremedy is very good until the Japan agency scout them.

My I was wrong!

Seremedy disbanded in 2013. From what the vocalist, Seikei wrote on his blog, he actually travel to Japan to find connection and book themself a gig there.

The point is, even though they are good, they don’t just sit around waiting to be discovered. They make a move to find connections and stuff.

And that’s what I will do. Let’s start with non-concert type of appearance first like Comic Fiesta and we see how far I can go from there.

And YOHIO is a former member of Seremedy. He’s the one behind Vocaloid Yohioloid that I want to cosplay.

After long time, I did not follow an updates from YOHIO. I somehow found out that he’s in new band called DISREIGN now.

And that’s their first single that I asked you to listen at the beginning of this post.

Upon listening to that song, I feel fired up to make a metal song and re-image myself to look like visual band people.

I like it now.

And of course the lyric will be based on my life experience during my “void year”.

Aren’t you excited?

Or do you have the same life experience like me? Well, I don’t want to list out in details what I did but I can assure you it’s something very bad.

YOHIO in DISREIGN