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The Day That I Can Smile Again

by Oct 29, 2015Life0 comments

Please play the video while reading this post. Kotobuki Minako is my favorite voice actress since 2009 she comes out solo not long after the success of Sphere.
She’s a good girl, support her. 🙂

What Do I Have?

I used to smile every day last time.
Feeling grateful for what I have, and what I achieve.
But when I really look through all my life, I didn’t achieve anything actually.
I don’t have anything or anyone either.
Do I feel sad?
Somehow, it just seems not important anymore.
Perhaps I’ve gotten used to it.
Is it something good?
I don’t know but for sure if given a choice, I don’t want to stay in this place forever.

The Uncertain Weather

I can predict the weather of the earth, but not my own self which always changed somehow.
Sometimes the sun shone the brightest until you can’t look up.
Sometimes it’s so cold like winter at the north pole.

Witness of Self Destruction

Day by day, I always waste my time procrastinating and doing nothing that can help to achieve my dreams until lately.
Without realizing it, a year has passed.
I’ve woken up, but the wasted time is not able to be claimed back.

I saw my own destruction, but not that I care.
Now when I started to care, it seems not too late to revive this very flesh but then the wounds are real.

What should I look forward to next?
That myself to heal?

So The Day That I Can Smile Again?

That day is still far.
I’m not sure what day will it be.

Will it be during my wedding day?
Will it be during my daughter was born?
Will, it is during my old days when I see my children all grow up well and in good manners?

Now, if you noticed.
It’s all about “family”.
Doesn’t they?
My future family.

I was thinking when I was just about to sleep.

What do we serve in this life?
Does everything else matter at all?
People die every day.

If you think that so negatively, of course, tomorrow does not matter at all.

So how we do make our life become meaningful?
By doing good things for people and society?
Why do you think that is a good idea then?

As our technology becomes advanced, something still remains the same.

We still are just human.

I Want To Smile Again

I laughed.
I smiled.
I feel happy.
But those are what I choose to feel.
What I choose to be.
Happiness is what you choose, they said.
So I did that.
The result is extremely helpful in facing this dull life.
But then, when do we need to generate our own happiness?

At some point in life, how good it is to actually receive happiness from someone else.
Do you agree with me?

It’s tiring, isn’t it?
Try to generate your own heat with your own palm.
It’s so much easier and comfortable to just hug someone during the winter and share the body heat.
Or better, being embraced too.

But I’m telling myself, there’s not me alone here.
There will be someone who I can bring home.
Or someone who can bring home, to me.

Somehow they feel near, but as if I was surrounded by the mist, I can’t see the mountain in front of my path.
I’ll just walk faithfully and wait for that fateful day to come.

It’s tiring to walk of course.
That’s why sometimes I waste my time lying down on the tree trunk and procrastinating.

Was it my fault that the fateful day come late?
If I keep walking, for sure I’ll reach early.
But to where?


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